The Purpose Of Each Pebble

This image was taken on a beach in Las Conchas in Puerto Penasco, Sonora, Mexico. I took this picture because the idea of the rippled sand forming a pattern took to my thinking that day. It is amazing that one pebble of sand can be combined with trillions of others to create so a perfect pattern.

I like to think of my life as trillions of moments that have created the person I am today. The moments are not supposed to be perfect but when they are all compiled together they make the beauty of living a life on life’s terms.

I have not always been able to collectively look at my life as an every moving pattern of living, often it was a very stagnant picture that I wanted to hide from the world. There were many days that I wanted to trade my picture with someone else because I thought the one they had been prettier. There was always a sense of lacking what I wanted and I was always searching for things that I was not ready for. Throughout my searching I did come to realize that I had everything I needed right here where I am and that I lacked nothing.

No junk here

I belonged to a community of people that would say these quirky things like “God doesn’t make junk” or “acceptance is the key to all my problems” and I just didn’t get it. I understood the words but I didn’t get it.

Some years later I took my journey further inside myself and realized that God didn’t make junk and yes accepting myself was the answer to all my problems. Life began to get a little easier the more I believed these simple statements.

There are days when I have to yell those statements into my thought process because it is so easy to fall backwards with the idea that good enough is great for today. When I get that then I work on becoming great for me not for anyone else. I only can speak for myself but for me I worried all the time that I would never measure up to anyone. Today, I know I measure up to me and that is the most important thing to each and every day.

I will not say it is easy but it is possible and all it takes is one thought saying I am good enough to guide you toward I am the best person I know today. I know it sounds simple and the concept is simple but there is much work in changing our debilitating mindsets. Pinpointing where it began is difficult and frankly, it doesn’t matter where it started it only matters that it now is ending right here right now. Life is as good as we want it to be or should I say as good as we believe it to be.

You have the control to empower yourself and be rid of the emotional pain that you have been carrying for far too long. We are not meant to suffer forever, we are meant to feel, heal, accept and move forward. Many people feel that you need to move on or let go but if you have not healed inside your mind, body and spirit you will never be able to let go of what is destroying you.

Have you heard the statement, life isn’t fair?

Well, it isn’t and it never will be but just because we were dealt a hand we don’t want to play we still have to play that hand the best we can. I guess the fake it till you make it can come in during a bad hand that is dealt. There have been so many times when I had to fake it till I made it in my life and it is something that I still practice today. Of course, those days are less and less but they are still here occasionally I have just learned to move through them more gracefully.

How often to you not move because you felt it wouldn’t matter anyway because nothing ever goes your way? This is the type of thinking that will keep you looking through the glass windows instead of experiencing the world beyond those windows. Thoughts are the major obstacle for a person to feel successful and for a person to a success.

Now, when I use the word success it isn’t referring to all the riches one can muster but it could be. Success is about that feeling when you look in the mirror, are you looking at the person that you truly want to be. Are you seeing the fighter in you or the cowering puppy. You choose the image you want looking back at you and if you do not like the one looking back then you need to work to change it. Thoughts kill our self-image if we do not produce the right ones.

So how to you fix what you see in the mirror?             

First, you must think you are worthy of happiness, then you must feel it, and finally you must believe it by living that dream. Yes, that dream the one deep inside that you are afraid to tell others because you are not worthy of your dreams.

I had dreams for so many years, but I was told they were just pipe dreams and that I should get back to reality. I was never allowed the time to wander within my mind to possibly live those dreams, they were always unreachable and the more time I spent on my pipe dreams the more I would sit with the failed life I had.

The year books that kids get at graduation, well I never received one because that wasn’t the route I went for my education but I always imagined it to say “the most likely to end up on welfare” or something similar. I am sure there are many kids that go through feelings like this but why does it have to be. We are not a society to build people up and so quick to tear others down but usually it’s because someone has torn us down.

Life can be something to look forward to every day and when you open your eyes in the morning you should feel the beauty of being alive. For some this comes naturally but for others it is work, daily work, but it is so worth it to be able to create a space of love for yourself. Let’s face it that’s where it starts.