Why Does Someone Have Grief?

To answer this question you would first have to explain the term of grief. Grief as many know occurs from loss, usually the loss of a loved one but it is not always this kind of loss, which we will get into a little later on. After a loved one dies there is a period of mourning and grief. These are very different reactions to death.

Mourning is the outward actions after death such as talking about the person, expressing feelings through other mediums such as art or music, using pen/paper to journal about the death. These are all examples of external outward expressions of loss. They are also very important practices for healing a loss of a loved one.

Grief is an internal process of loss and is only healthy if mourning a loss is done. Grief is what we are feeling inside and the emotions of loss can be numbing and debilitating to a person if they are not finding support from their community. Society often pushes the expressions that come with death aside and expect the person suffering to just get over it. Without both mourning and grieving done together without judgement a death can destroy a person.

Most people think of grief with death but loss comes in many forms. Some of you may have fallen upon hard times and lost everything, a marriage fell apart, your best four legged friend died, you lost your job, or a loss of bodily function. All of these losses can also cause grief. There are certain steps that a person has to take to begin their journey to heal. First, one has to acknowledge the loss and next is the acceptance of the loss.

Once these two factors are in place then it’s all about discovering new strategies that will help you learn to live with the loss you are experiencing. Most importantly grief is an individual journey that only you can choose to take. Grief is not something that is goes away from your life rather is recreates your life to include the grief you have. For a person that does not have grief I think it’s difficult to understand this and when you have grief you know it is something you always have but it changes with you in time.

I have a private Facebook group called “Let’s Talk About Death” and it is for exactly that purpose to talk about death because too often people that are suffering from death of a loved one are hushed or ignored instead of allowed to share what they think, feel and do to mourn and grieve the one they love. Feel free to find us and to share your pain so we can make it a little easier for you. In addition to that there are many books on this subject also. I also offer a free consultation if you feel you need some short term coaching. No matter what avenue you take please find your grief journey and allow yourself to heal.